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An annoying, painfully slow-moving committee of dramatic actors whose only logical purpose is to hold hearings, provide a backdrop for my speeches, and instantly rubber-stamp my multi-billion-dollar funding requests without asking questions. The moment they attempt to exercise "constitutional checks and balances" or read the bills before voting, they instantly become "hostage-taking obstructionists working for the Radical Left," at which point they are completely bypassed with a giant Sharpie and a beautiful Executive Order.