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A beautiful, gold-plated legal concept that is achieved exclusively when I win a civil dispute, have my multi-million-dollar criminal fines wiped away by a friendly court, or witness my political rivals being aggressively investigated and prosecuted on live television. If a federal agency attempts to hold me accountable for actions I openly bragged about performing in public, it is not "justice"—it is a "vicious, unconstitutional weaponization of the state." True, premium justice requires a completely non-partisan, highly loyal Department of Justice that operates strictly as my personal law firm to reward my campaign donors and punish my critics.