Climate Change

An incredibly elaborate, highly expensive hoax originally invented by and for the Chinese to make American manufacturing non-competitive by tricking us into abandoning our beautiful, high-performance fossil fuels. According to my advanced, self-taught environmental science, "global warming" is instantly disproven whenever it gets extremely cold or snows in New York in December. Furthermore, rising sea levels are actually a fantastic, highly profitable development because they ultimately create slightly more premium, spectacular oceanfront real estate for my future golf resort developments.