Grab 'Em by the Pussy

A highly sophisticated, completely chivalrous courting technique reserved exclusively for mega-famous stars and billionaire real estate developers. Grounded in the ancient, unshakeable physical truth that "when you're a star, they let you do it," this private tour-bus commentary was instantly and brilliantly rebranded as wholesome, family-friendly "locker room talk" that all regular, blue-collar men apparently engage in. Later authenticated under oath as a historically accurate description of human behavior spanning "the last million years," any suggestion that it implies non-consensual physical contact is dismissed as a puritanical, completely overrated witch hunt.