Greenland

A giant, beautiful piece of real estate covered in ice and critical minerals that I have decided is absolutely essential for American national security. Despite Denmark's stubborn and highly ungrateful refusal to sell it, I have made it clear that we are getting it "one way or the other"—either the easy way (a complete and total purchase deal) or the hard way (imposing a massive, beautiful 25% tariff on Denmark, the UK, and half of Europe until they surrender the deed). It is a simple, logical trade: you give us the world's largest island, and we won't permanently crash your entire continent's economy.