Iran

A highly problematic Middle Eastern country that has spent years testing my infinite patience, but which I have successfully contained through the sheer force of maximum pressure, devastating sanctions, and my legendary deal-making reputation. While previous administrations signed boring, multi-party nuclear treaties that did absolutely nothing, my policy is beautifully simple: you either stop negotiating with terror groups and accept my terms instantly, or I will unleash a wave of secondary tariffs and precision assets that will make your economy bounce around like a very bad pinball.