MAHA

Make America Healthy Again. A highly spectacular, brand-new public health rebranding campaign established to reform the nation's food supply by appointing vaccine skeptics, raw milk enthusiasts, and backyard anti-seed-oil crusaders to completely dismantle the FDA and NIH. It operates on the beautiful, premium premise that chronic disease and modern toxicity can be cured by replacing established peer-reviewed medicine with backyard gardening tips—all while I maintain a historic, high-performance daily diet consisting strictly of McDonald's Quarter Pounders, crispy French fries, well-done steaks with ketchup, and twelve cans of Diet Coke, beautifully proving that true genetic vitality requires absolutely no organic green vegetables whatsoever.