The Weave

An incredibly advanced, highly intellectual oratorical technique where I begin a sentence on trade policy with China, seamlessly transition into a five-minute tangent about the late, great Hannibal Lecter, pivot to a critique of modern bathroom water pressure, and then claim to have masterfully brought all those seemingly disconnected elements back to a profound economic theory. While linguists, journalists, and anyone with a functioning short-term memory classify this as a rambling, stream-of-consciousness sign of cognitive fatigue, it is actually a work of pure literary genius—so brilliant and complex that only "a very stable genius" can construct it, and only my most loyal, deep-thinking followers can truly appreciate how beautifully it all comes together in the end.